DON'T BE UNREASONABLE bumper stickers

If you want one, email us. I think they're
worth maybe five bucks
or something... you know, with postage added
and all that... maybe... I don't know, let's just
say six-fifty all in.
Which is... you know, like going along with
the concept 'n' all,
not really all that unreasonable.
She wasn't saying that I could do anything about them... or anything
at all about the traffic... she was merely suggesting that
if I wished
I could probably do something about my own attitude.

Still, I thought the three of us—the slow-poke, the truck driver and
the real reason for both their problems—were all guilty. Though
undoubtedly wonderful people in every other aspect of our lives, we
had all, momentarily, lost sight of the big picture. Each of us had
given in to our baser instincts and had become unreasonable behind
the wheel. So, you know, I could kind of relate...

I had no idea why the slow-poke was driving so slowly, BUT had to
admit that there were times when I've driven slowly, and had good
reason for doing so. I also confessed that I had no idea why that
truck-driving moron was being so aggressive, but, had to admit that
there were times, in my past, when I'd driven slowly for no other
reason than to piss off people like him.

Now, freshly awash in wifely wisdom, I could see that
that kind of
probably had been maybe just a little bit unreasonable.

At that very moment I had a vision.

I saw all the people in all their cars, stuck in traffic on every street,
every road, every highway and byway throughout this great nation.
And I saw the possibility of a brighter future for all of us.

And that bright future was built upon THIS: a bumper sticker...
One day, while stuck in traffic—with a slow-poke impeding us, and a
large truck riding my rear bumper—I had a realization.

I realized that there are three types of drivers in this world: the slow-
poke—like the guy directly in front of me—with no real desire to
ever get anywhere, and... the truck driver—like that guy on my tail—
driving as if engulfed in flames, with me the last remaining obstacle
between himself and running water, and... reasonable drivers—like
myself—victim to the mindless dawdling of one and prey to the self-
imposed urgency of the other.

I presented this theory to my wife, who casually replied, “Don’t you
see that YOU are the truck driver for that poor person in front of us,
as well as the slow-poke for the truck driver behind us?”

Actually, I hadn’t seen that. And, at the time, it seemed like the most
remarkable observation I had ever heard.

So, apparently
I was the problem. I was being unreasonable (again).

The slow-poke would have agreed with her. He probably thought I was
both unreasonable and pushy (if he had any thoughts at all).
The truck driver would have agreed as well. All he was asking was that
I clear a wide path through slow-moving traffic for him.

I thought about that a bit... while keeping one very wary eye on the
rearview mirror. Slowly (as is my way) I began to understand what my
wife was trying to tell me. Then, suddenly, I could see it all clearly.
Someone once said to me, "If you don't take yourself seriously, you can't expect others to take you seriously."
And I said, "Well, there you go."                                                                                                              
© 2015
It's a simple thought, which can be expressed in a variety of ways: