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Poor Ol' Santa Claus is feeling unappreciated and
ill-used. He'd like to quit the business, but sees no
way out. Fourth generation New Jersey tavern
owner, Tony, feels the same about the trap he's in.
When Santa asks Tony what he would like for
Christmas, the answer is shocking. More shocking
still is the fact that Santa grants that wish.
The same tales as the original,
but in a
These two pieces were originally published together
under the title EARWIG. I sent a copy to Jack Nicholson’s
agent, thinking Mr. Nicholson might enjoy it. That led to
explosive action and legal threats. The matter was quickly
resolved by my agreement to never do three things which I
never intended to do anyway. Specifically, I was asked to:
keep Jack Nicholson’s name off the cover, refrain from
advertising that there was a story centered around Jack
Nicholson inside EARWIG, and resist any urge I might
have to put a paper band around each book which
declared Jack Nicholson IS Santa Claus. In the end,
things turned out nicely, and I discovered that some
Hollywood folks have a heart.
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Jack Nicholson's Attorney