You begin to notice how little difference there really is between the
sexes when one of them becomes pregnant. Darryl Mockridge
DOG’S CHOKING is a MAN’S JOB
I know that there is great effort afoot these days to erase any kind of discernment from this world,
and that anyone who wishes to retain any for themselves is vile and stupid and a danger to the
Hive, but when the dog is choking, it’s a man’s job. And I’m sorry to report it, but it seems to be
‘naturally’ a man’s job. I mean only this: I was sound asleep, driving a racing car, rapidly and with
some satisfaction, up over a hill, with no knowledge whatsoever of what lies ahead, when I was
“Dog’s choking -- DOG’s CHOKING.”
Only then did I realize that the mighty roar of my race car’s engine was not a mighty roar, but the
sputtering sound of the dog choking in the other room.
“Oh,” I say, as I pull myself entirely to the surface and get myself upright, and with no time to sit on
the edge of the bed and gather anything at all like a thought, go rushing into the living room to find
the dog standing over the wastebasket, looking about 60% guilty and 40% Oh… hey, what brings
you in here at this time of night?
“Stop eating out of the garbage can,” I say with the kind of sternness any man might bring to a silly
situation involving his wife’s dog at 3 A M, and return to bed.
But, I climb back in wondering why this—getting up out of a warm bed in order to determine whether
the dog is choking in a life-threatening manner or merely doing what dog’s do—falls so naturally
onto my side of the court. My very dear wife did not hesitate or blink upon hearing that sound, but
did what anyone would do—went directly to the resident dog’s-choking expert. She—reading a book
with a cat snuggled up against her legs, and not yet asleep—felt so strongly that this was a job for
me that she yanked me from a sound sleep in order to have it handled as only a man can.
You really begin to see how little difference there is between the sexes, when one of them becomes
pregnant or, naturally it would seem, when the dog’s choking in the other room.