I know I promised you a wall; and I’m a man of my word. You’ll get your wall:
and it is gonna be wonderful; it is gonna be the finest, the most elegant…AND,
as I promised you, the most effective wall built since the Great Wall of China…
we may even employ some of their techniques—why not, it seems to have
done the job—I don’t know…we’ll see. But, I’m not here today to talk about a
wall. I’m here to talk about a bridge.
I was just talking to a friend of mine—a new friend I’ve just met, a very powerful
man—and we decided to go in on this bridge idea together. He thinks it’s a
good idea; I think it’s a good idea, and it’ll put a lot of people to work. Maybe
we’ll take some of our (sorry, if you don’t like to hear the word) illegal
immigrants (but that is what they are) from some of our so-called sanctuary
cities and put them to work on this bridge…maybe not, I don’t know yet. But,
this bridge…and like I’ve said, it is going to be a wonderful thing, a marvel of
both form and function… is going to put a lot of people to work.
The last bridge of this sort built, by the Chinese by the way, is over 100 miles
long, cost over 8 billion dollars to build (much closer to 9 billion to be honest)—
and that’s in China, where they like to play with the value of their money; so
who knows what it actually cost them—and took more than four years to build.
The bridge my new friend and I are going to build will only be a little more than
half as long—it’ll be… well, you’ll just have to wait for that—but, it’ll be half as
long and we’ll employ just as many people—why not? We should. People need
good work; and we’ll pay them good money for good work. BUT, our bridge
won’t cost anywhere near ½ of the 8 billion dollars they spent in China. We’re
looking at, conservatively, maybe 3 billion for our bridge. But, this bridge will
pay for itself, in the long run—both in trade and in creating a strong bond
between two of the greatest nations in the history of the world.
So, as some of you may have guessed, we’re gonna close the southern
border—not entirely, but just to keep out the gangs, the drugs, the criminals—
and we’re gonna open up things a little bit in the north, maybe develop a
working relationship with an ancient foe…see if two great nations can work
together instead of always being at odds with each other.
That’s what you elected the last guy to do…and that’s what he promised to do
(though he didn’t do such a great job of it, did he?)… but, I think, I can get this
thing done, and I can get it done without bowing to anybody or getting into bed
with any dictators or APOLOGIZING for being the greatest country in the
world. In the same stroke, we can work together with a new understanding
between two powerful nations.
My new friend and I are both excited about the idea of building this bridge—we
seem to understand each other; two powerful men who get things done—and
this magnificent bridge is just the beginning of a new friendship that I think
both nations will find very beneficial.
And so now, I’m not gonna say any more about it—not right now. I’ll just say
this: it will be 6 lanes wide and distinguished and elegant and absolutely
beautiful—and it will do the job, I can promise you that. It will do the job as well
as the wall I intend to build on our southern border does its job. My new friend
and I are still kicking things around a bit—there are some things we need to
work out yet… some weather problems and so forth…but I thought this is an
interesting idea and maybe you should be in on it.
November 30, 2015